it's just one of those things

Happy moment #534: going to a YSA dance, laughing and dancing around like crazy for a bit, deciding there wasn't enough good music to justify the amount of b.o. that was permeating the dance floor, and going with your roommate to the refreshment table to pile up a ton of vegetables and finally walking out, happily munching away.

It was a long happy moment, but boy, was it worth it.

this silence is nearly deafening me

Three more weeks of school and then I am done. Done for the winter, done until the fall, done, done. I'll be heading up to Winnipeg for the summer and then...and then...

I have no idea. Well, that's not true. I have a lot of ideas, too many in fact, and they are all piling on top of one another like a crazy interception and fumble on the field. Should I stay there for a few months, or should I come back to Utah right away? Should I get my associates online and do a paraprofessional certificate, or should I even worry about getting my associates at all right now? Do I pile on classes thick or take it easy? I have a lot of dreams and motivation to achieve them, but at times the opportunities seem to take so much effort, the leg work so much time, that it all becomes exhausting and I feel like I need a break. Then again, I took a break early--an eight year break--which is what is complicating matters now, in some aspects.

I'd like to go to a cruise to Hawaii. That, or the Caribbean. Swim with the turtles by the Galapagos Islands, and spend long, languorous days in the sun and near the water, reading literature and smiling at almost everything that crosses my path. Perhaps this is escapism in its most ideal form, but it's the thought that becomes my happy place at times. Then I return to the classroom, the walls, the computer screen, the discussions and graphs and questions and sometimes, the inanity of the person next to you. I don't think it was ever slated that intellectualism was meant to be painless.

So off I go, to the land of procrastination and letters built into words built into sentence fragments built into research papers. And then, the temple. And then, a dance. And then...more daydreams.

buy a round of hellos

I've been meaning to start a blog for a long time, now. It's silly, really, that it's taken this long--it's the same with my American Civilization papers. Hours of procrastination turned into minutes of writing to actually create something useful. It's funny how life seems to follow that pattern more often than not.

I'm still riding an Against Me! craze. The thing is, I ride this wave every single time I listen to them. I suppose music is my preferred drug, and as long as it doesn't serve to make me worse, I'll continue to go back and take another hit when I need it.

Why is it always easier to waste hours of time instead of constructing beautiful symphonies, canvases, or other masterpieces? Perhaps it's that old adage of us not really fearing failure, but fearing our success far more than we'll ever be willing to admit to ourselves.

Anyway, hello blog world. This is me.