Saturday, March 27, 2010

this silence is nearly deafening me

Three more weeks of school and then I am done. Done for the winter, done until the fall, done, done. I'll be heading up to Winnipeg for the summer and then...and then...

I have no idea. Well, that's not true. I have a lot of ideas, too many in fact, and they are all piling on top of one another like a crazy interception and fumble on the field. Should I stay there for a few months, or should I come back to Utah right away? Should I get my associates online and do a paraprofessional certificate, or should I even worry about getting my associates at all right now? Do I pile on classes thick or take it easy? I have a lot of dreams and motivation to achieve them, but at times the opportunities seem to take so much effort, the leg work so much time, that it all becomes exhausting and I feel like I need a break. Then again, I took a break early--an eight year break--which is what is complicating matters now, in some aspects.

I'd like to go to a cruise to Hawaii. That, or the Caribbean. Swim with the turtles by the Galapagos Islands, and spend long, languorous days in the sun and near the water, reading literature and smiling at almost everything that crosses my path. Perhaps this is escapism in its most ideal form, but it's the thought that becomes my happy place at times. Then I return to the classroom, the walls, the computer screen, the discussions and graphs and questions and sometimes, the inanity of the person next to you. I don't think it was ever slated that intellectualism was meant to be painless.

So off I go, to the land of procrastination and letters built into words built into sentence fragments built into research papers. And then, the temple. And then, a dance. And then...more daydreams.

3 comments:

  1. Wait? You're almost done with the semester already? It feels like a ton of time before mine ends...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I say do whatever you feel like you need to do. In a world like today you should have a degree in something. If you don't like the school you are at, go some where else. I say good luck to you!

    ReplyDelete